Falling Forward

There’s no manual for parenting.

Believe me, if there was one that worked 100% of the time, I’d have pre-ordered it, tabbed the pages, and gifted it to every new parent I know. But instead, we figure it out one day—one mistake—at a time.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about failure. Not just my kids’ failure, but my own.

I mess up. I say the wrong thing. I react too fast or not fast enough. I want to help, but sometimes I cause harm. I try to guide, but sometimes I feel like I push too hard.

And now, as two of our kids inch closer to 18 and the end of high school, I feel the tension growing:

Let go, or step in?

Let them fall, or cushion the landing?

Grace or consequences?

The answer, of course, is yes. All of the above. But that doesn’t make it easy. Because my instinct as a dad is to protect. But the call of a parent—especially as our kids become adults—is often to release. To allow natural consequences to shape them. To let life teach the lessons we can’t force.

Man is that scary. It’s hard. And you know what, it’s necessary.

Jesus told a story in Luke 15 about a father. The father doesn’t chase the son down when he walks away. He lets him go, knowing there’s pain ahead. But he also watches the road. He stays ready to welcome him home. That’s grace. And that’s the balance Jesus models for us and I am trying to live into.

So this week, leading up to Father’s Day, I’m thinking about the idea of failing forward. You know, failure isn’t the opposite of growth—it’s often the doorway to it. It takes grace, and that grace doesn’t always mean saving someone from consequences—but being there when they face them.

Love means letting things fall apart, so something deeper can come together.

If you’re in that tension, too—parenting or otherwise—I’m with you. God is too.

There’s no perfect path. But there is a faithful one.

This Sunday kicks off our Summer Broadway Series. 
 

With Gratitude,

Rodney Whitfield
Senior Pastor
Aldersgate UMC