Don’t Rush the Healing

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as I sit with that, I’ve found myself remembering some of my own seasons of struggle.

There are chapters of my story I don’t talk about often—but they’re part of me. After my mom died… and again after the death of our daughter, Mercy, in 2011… I found myself walking through deep grief. It was more than sadness. It was heavy. Numbing. Disorienting. And there were moments I felt like I had to get back to “normal” before I was ready.

I felt that pressure from others sometimes, but more often, I put it on myself. I felt like I had to be okay, bounce back, and return to ministry.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Healing doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t fit into a timeline I choose—or that anyone else does. It takes time. It takes intentional work. And above all, it takes grace.

I’ve been thinking about how Jesus responds to pain in the gospels. He doesn’t rush in with a quick fix. He doesn’t say, “You’re fine now. Move on.”

Remember, when His friend Lazarus dies, Jesus weeps—even though He knows resurrection is coming. When the disciples are hurting after the crucifixion, He walks with them on the road to Emmaus before saying anything. And when a woman reaches out in desperation to be healed, He stops, listens, and calls her “Daughter.”

Jesus chooses presence over pressure, compassion over control.

That’s the kind of grace we need. And the kind of grace I want to extend—to myself, and to others.

So if you’re in a season of healing right now—physically, emotionally, spiritually—I want you to hear this clearly:

     You don’t have to rush.
     You are not broken for needing time.
     You are not weak for needing help.

Please talk to someone. Reach out. Ask for what you need. And if you don’t know what that is yet—that’s okay too.

We weren’t meant to do this alone. We have each other.

And even more, we have a Savior who walks with us—not just in the healing, but in the hurt.

With Gratitude,
Rodney Whitfield
Senior Pastor
Aldersgate UMC